The Unprofessional Football League

Pittsburgh Steelers Plan Explosive Promotion For Week Nine

pittsburgh steelers

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The Pittsburgh Steelers today announced the long awaited promotional event for their home game on Week 9.  Donnie Iris Demolition Day.

 

Team spokesman Jeff Inhaus said, “This is more for the city than the team. From 1978 to 1979, Donnie had one of the greatest runs any rock singer ever had.” He added,  “But, as yinz well know, Pittsburgh is a city that turns away from the past and looks confidently to the future. It’s just time that we said good-bye to the Golden Age of Pittsburgh Rock and Roll.”

 

Team officials did not comment further, but sources say that the plan is to use Jeff Inhaus’ brother’s Trans Am to pull a wagon full of Iris’ albums, CDs, and 8 track tapes to the 50 yard line, then blow it up with dynamite.

 

No word on plans for post demolition clean-up.

 

“Leah was a good song and all, but we have to let go of the past,” said Steelers fan Don Iris Bradshaw Burch, “Just like we can’t keep going around as football fans reminding people of all our Super Bowl wins. As far as the average Steeler and Pittsburgh rock fan is concerned, every year is a slate wiped clean.  A tabula rosa if you will.  Nothing you did before matters.”

 

Steeler officials are also counting on the promotion to ensure the stands are full on Week 9 when Joe Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens come into Heinz Field.

 

TRANSACTIONS

 

Miami Dolphins signed LB Joseph Story to the practice squad

Oakland Raiders released FB Bushrod Washington

Pittsburgh Steelers released WR Kayshall Horn

Kansas City Chiefs agreed to a one year contract with QB James Iredell

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